By Daryl Simons Jr.

I sit alone in my room, in a pile of sorrow
No one around but I… and the voices
These are not the crazy voices, just my thoughts
These thoughts often become dark, and frightening

I look around my room, and see some books
Many of these books, I have not read
“These books can educate you, they said”
Maybe I just buy them to distract myself

Books are an easy escape, an illusion within my reality
They allow me to accomplish my deepest desires
I want to get away, to retract from everyone
Those I once loved, and those who loved me

Passions that had once consumed my existence
Have slowly turned into my indifference
I can’t even say that I hate feeling this way
My eyes can see a different a world in this darkness

Old convictions have been obliterated
Everything that I had once believed, destroyed
Things that I had thought previously, disappeared
Who is this man in the mirror?

I grow tired and weary of life, the illusory fascinations
I keep seeing these visions, these hallucinations
Of this piece of magnificent steel and wood
Pressed firmly against my bones and warm flesh

As I see these visions, a smile invades my face
A sense of peace begins to overwhelm me
On the outside, people might think this is crazy
On the inside, I have never been happier

I am sorry, to my family and my friends
It will take time to completely make these amends
You should smile… I am smiling now
Just keep on living, that’s what they told me

I just… couldn’t stand this life anymore
The misery and suffering that plagues this Earth
Why would anyone want to continually see this?
I mean, just look around, it’s an abyss

Maybe I am just a pessimist beyond repair
Happiness is something built, something to prepare
Maybe an optimist would view the world differently
For someone like me, I’d long for that passionately

But sadly, I have already made my decision
No time left to undo the deed that has been done
I have always heard that the end is nigh
Honestly, before that moment, I had never felt that high…

By Daryl Simons Jr.

People look at me, and think that everything is fine
They think I age like a barrel of mystic wine
Though I appear to be okay on the outside
I have been dying on the inside
                    
As old colors fade to gray
Life has become bleak, day after day
Old hobbies and habitual past times
Only seem interesting because I have become a mime

Nothing is fun or beautiful anymore
Nothing becomes beautiful, a beautiful lore
As nothing becomes reality, death seems like a pleasure
Hallelujah, life has become mine, life has become pure

Understand me when I say this
No one event in my life made it go amiss
Don’t cry, don’t fear
This is what I want, to slowly disappear…

By Daryl Simons Jr.

Oh I yearn for the days of feasting.
Where are the living, I don’t want the dead.
I moan and whimper for the end of the growl,
So I go search, I’m on the prowl.

My body aches, yet I can’t feel a thing.
A limb fell off, didn’t even feel a sting.
I limped and dragged my lifeless self,
Across these lands, often along by myself.

My flesh, as it rots, it creates a scent
It is a result of nature, something I can’t prevent
My existence, or what’s left of me
Represents what’s left of me, all without saying a thing

As I slowly crumble, I grown in despair
I don’t know how became this monster, or even where
I am just another dead face in the crowd
Man, wouldn’t my parents be proud

By Daryl Simons Jr

Suddenly, I am running, to where, I don’t know.
Running faster than ever before, from what… I don’t know.
Up ahead, something appears to be what looks like a shore,
I see a vast ocean of the likes I’ve never saw before.

I step into the beautiful blue water,
And then everything becomes a mess of fodder.
As I lie there, in the mess and debris,
I wonder where I am, I wonder what I see.

I appear on the rim of a volcanic mountain.
As I climb, a fury of red lava spews from the fountain
The fiery hell consumes my petty existence
Honestly, I didn’t even put up any resistance.

As my reality turns to a scorching fire,
I feel my spirit get a little bit higher.
I know what I see isn’t what it seems,
I slowly begin to realize, it only exists in my dreams.

By Daryl Simons Jr.

Another day goes by,
The world feels infinite
As I gaze into her eyes
I don’t know where time goes

While I lose my grasp on reality
My weaknesses appear as she starts to expose
I become scared, and take a step away
She reaches out, tears running down her face

I look back at her, and don’t know what to say
She becomes terrified, creeping fear beside her
All that she had known, all that had died
Everything I was, was just a lure

As we stare, as we lay there
We slip back into infinite, to forget we can’t bare
I look at her, and still don’t know what to say
I just dazed off, knowing that I am drifting away…