The End is Nigh... they say

By Daryl Simons Jr.

I sit alone in my room, in a pile of sorrow
No one around but I… and the voices
These are not the crazy voices, just my thoughts
These thoughts often become dark, and frightening

I look around my room, and see some books
Many of these books, I have not read
“These books can educate you, they said”
Maybe I just buy them to distract myself

Books are an easy escape, an illusion within my reality
They allow me to accomplish my deepest desires
I want to get away, to retract from everyone
Those I once loved, and those who loved me

Passions that had once consumed my existence
Have slowly turned into my indifference
I can’t even say that I hate feeling this way
My eyes can see a different a world in this darkness

Old convictions have been obliterated
Everything that I had once believed, destroyed
Things that I had thought previously, disappeared
Who is this man in the mirror?

I grow tired and weary of life, the illusory fascinations
I keep seeing these visions, these hallucinations
Of this piece of magnificent steel and wood
Pressed firmly against my bones and warm flesh

As I see these visions, a smile invades my face
A sense of peace begins to overwhelm me
On the outside, people might think this is crazy
On the inside, I have never been happier

I am sorry, to my family and my friends
It will take time to completely make these amends
You should smile… I am smiling now
Just keep on living, that’s what they told me

I just… couldn’t stand this life anymore
The misery and suffering that plagues this Earth
Why would anyone want to continually see this?
I mean, just look around, it’s an abyss

Maybe I am just a pessimist beyond repair
Happiness is something built, something to prepare
Maybe an optimist would view the world differently
For someone like me, I’d long for that passionately

But sadly, I have already made my decision
No time left to undo the deed that has been done
I have always heard that the end is nigh
Honestly, before that moment, I had never felt that high…