By Daryl Simons Jr.

Furry little creatures of fur
Scruffy, fluffy, I don’t care
Usually most of them are cute
All unique in their own way
Loving, and love attention (normally)
Independence is their identity
Yet, they are ever so dependent

I have three (now two) of my own
Used to have one more, before
Can’t say that I ever “had” them
They more or less had me
Cats are no ordinary pets
They do what they want
However that may be

They hold grudges
They show anger and stubbornness
And they have their own attitudes
Own habits
But, despite this all
They normally reciprocate how they are treated
And thus, can be very loyal and loving

Believe this as you may
They will never care what I say
For they are cats
Just cats

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tribute to Buddy...

There was once
A cat unlike any other
His name was Siddhartha Buddha
Buddy, for short
A big and time worn cat
When we first found him
He seemed to be like an old warrior
Random scars a plenty
Skittish, none the less
But he became trusting over time
He became family
He became a protector of the other two that resided
Very defensive and territorial
Yet, one of the most friendly
And gently animals you could ever find
For those who say animals don’t have souls
He was living proof that they do
You could just sense it
Feel it in the air
His soul permeated through his personality
It was beautiful…

One last breath, last gasp
Leaving us where this chapter began
As a member of our family
As a friend (as crazy as it sounds)
Memories of him will always remain
With everyone who was fortunate to see him
With my dad
With me
He was my buddy, our buddy, everyone’s buddy
He was Buddy

Digging my nails into my skull
Wondering if there is anything left of me at all
Of me… I pull and scratch
This world, of that I do not attach

Sociopath, psychopath, whatever I have become
From my beginnings of which I have come
I now laugh at anguish
Exist in disrepair 
Raveling from the fighting and despair
Society no longer means anything to me, no longer care

I am like a mad clown, 
preaching my religion with guns
Help me! Help me! I am shedding tears of blood
Tears of which that flood
My entire psyche 
with a monkey riding a little bike, malarkey! 

Looking around, I see all the pathetic people
Wandering around,
Praying to a God under a steeple
A God that I have long forsaken
Well, before he takes all of these lives
That need to be taken
Why are they alive… what is their purpose?
I just want to fuck with them now,
Create anew
Give them a sense of reason that I can construe
A slit across their wrists,
Or a bullet to their head
Doesn’t really matter which,
Both would mean more
 than any book they have ever read

I wish that I could say that I am sorry
But I am not, what a folly
For I am just a man
A being in this world
Maybe more enlightened than most, I suppose
Or, depending or who you ask, 
Crazier I suppose
But what is crazy?
Is it simply viewing the world 
in a different way?
What is crazy?
Is it the understanding of 
a truth that doesn’t exist?

Craziness, or insanity, could just be
Acting in a way outside of man, truly
So distant from your fellow spirits
In a way that no one can hear it

I hate to tell you this now
Sane, insane, I can fully vow
That I have become so irritated, infurated
With what we call our “reality”

I hope you read this,
That someone hears my message
No matter how scary it sounds,
I have begun hating everything, myself around
As you have read this entry, I must now act
From what’s left of my sanity, I will act
To protect you all from what I have become,
I declared that I will be undone…

I hear a snap, yet somehow, I am still writing
Notepad in my hand, 
fighting to write these last few words
Undone everything… as I write
Madness slips away, returning to peace, as I fade into blackness…

Who am I?
What am I doing here?
What is this place?
What are these thoughts?
I feel so bewildered
Is this even real?
My reality?
What is my purpose?
What is the meaning of life?
Do you know?
Does anyone?

The beauty of life exists within these questions
The beauty is the ability to question
The questions themselves are beautiful
The uncertainty and doubt
The realization that I don’t know
And I am happy with that
Living life day to day
Floating like a feather in the wind
Knowing not where I am
Or where I may be going
But I will get there
Living life unpredictably
In a manner so incredible
So undesirably special
There is something beautiful in that

But, this is only became my truth if once I became comfortable with the question
Comfortable with the uncertainty and doubt
Accepting that I don’t know
And that life is very unpredictable at times

This question drives us.
Digs deep down into our unconscious
Driving us mad, with curiousity
It makes us search for the answer
On this journey, we inevitably find more than that
We find ourselves

Now I must ask,
Who are you?



by Daryl Simons Jr.

By Daryl Simons Jr.

There she is, girl of wonder… 
This is quite the splendor
Should I approach this beauty
Could I even approach her, the futility
                                   
Those beautiful brown eyes
The way her hair glistens in the light
Her figure could drop anyone to their knees
She just seems… perfect

I wondered about her story
Surely, I don’t want to regret this when I am forty
Is her life as perfect as her appearance?
I will only find out through perseverance 

I slowly walk up to her, nervously
Hands become sweaty, body becomes heavy
Infatuation overtakes reason
I passed out before even saying a word

My eyes slowly open, and I see her
Her hands gently caressing my hair
“Are you okay?” she asked
I smiled, and reached for her hand

She is looking at me, lost in her daze
Life seems perfect, everything’s a haze
I asked this lovely lady for her name
She replied “Shhh, it doesn’t matter”

The dreamy girl joins me in the bed
She pulls herself closer, maybe a ruse
Wrapping her arm around me
This was a moment that I didn’t want to lose

I wondered why she entered my life
She just keeps staring at me… it seems right
A smile creeps across her face, and travels to mine
                                                                                       My world collapses, and everything is fine

Maybe she is my guardian angel
Or the mysterious “one” we search for
Maybe she has realized something in me
Something that I could never see

This might sound cheesy, or romantic poetic
Moments like this used to make me sick
But I now I believe in something that I thought was myth
She is extraordinary, someone I want to share my life with

Life before meeting her was bleak and dull
This girl, I don’t even know her, a naïve fall
Who knows where this path will lead, like an endless vine
A beautiful Love is born, as our world’s intertwine…

By Daryl Simons Jr.

I sit alone in my room, in a pile of sorrow
No one around but I… and the voices
These are not the crazy voices, just my thoughts
These thoughts often become dark, and frightening

I look around my room, and see some books
Many of these books, I have not read
“These books can educate you, they said”
Maybe I just buy them to distract myself

Books are an easy escape, an illusion within my reality
They allow me to accomplish my deepest desires
I want to get away, to retract from everyone
Those I once loved, and those who loved me

Passions that had once consumed my existence
Have slowly turned into my indifference
I can’t even say that I hate feeling this way
My eyes can see a different a world in this darkness

Old convictions have been obliterated
Everything that I had once believed, destroyed
Things that I had thought previously, disappeared
Who is this man in the mirror?

I grow tired and weary of life, the illusory fascinations
I keep seeing these visions, these hallucinations
Of this piece of magnificent steel and wood
Pressed firmly against my bones and warm flesh

As I see these visions, a smile invades my face
A sense of peace begins to overwhelm me
On the outside, people might think this is crazy
On the inside, I have never been happier

I am sorry, to my family and my friends
It will take time to completely make these amends
You should smile… I am smiling now
Just keep on living, that’s what they told me

I just… couldn’t stand this life anymore
The misery and suffering that plagues this Earth
Why would anyone want to continually see this?
I mean, just look around, it’s an abyss

Maybe I am just a pessimist beyond repair
Happiness is something built, something to prepare
Maybe an optimist would view the world differently
For someone like me, I’d long for that passionately

But sadly, I have already made my decision
No time left to undo the deed that has been done
I have always heard that the end is nigh
Honestly, before that moment, I had never felt that high…

By Daryl Simons Jr.

People look at me, and think that everything is fine
They think I age like a barrel of mystic wine
Though I appear to be okay on the outside
I have been dying on the inside
                    
As old colors fade to gray
Life has become bleak, day after day
Old hobbies and habitual past times
Only seem interesting because I have become a mime

Nothing is fun or beautiful anymore
Nothing becomes beautiful, a beautiful lore
As nothing becomes reality, death seems like a pleasure
Hallelujah, life has become mine, life has become pure

Understand me when I say this
No one event in my life made it go amiss
Don’t cry, don’t fear
This is what I want, to slowly disappear…

By Daryl Simons Jr.

Oh I yearn for the days of feasting.
Where are the living, I don’t want the dead.
I moan and whimper for the end of the growl,
So I go search, I’m on the prowl.

My body aches, yet I can’t feel a thing.
A limb fell off, didn’t even feel a sting.
I limped and dragged my lifeless self,
Across these lands, often along by myself.

My flesh, as it rots, it creates a scent
It is a result of nature, something I can’t prevent
My existence, or what’s left of me
Represents what’s left of me, all without saying a thing

As I slowly crumble, I grown in despair
I don’t know how became this monster, or even where
I am just another dead face in the crowd
Man, wouldn’t my parents be proud

By Daryl Simons Jr

Suddenly, I am running, to where, I don’t know.
Running faster than ever before, from what… I don’t know.
Up ahead, something appears to be what looks like a shore,
I see a vast ocean of the likes I’ve never saw before.

I step into the beautiful blue water,
And then everything becomes a mess of fodder.
As I lie there, in the mess and debris,
I wonder where I am, I wonder what I see.

I appear on the rim of a volcanic mountain.
As I climb, a fury of red lava spews from the fountain
The fiery hell consumes my petty existence
Honestly, I didn’t even put up any resistance.

As my reality turns to a scorching fire,
I feel my spirit get a little bit higher.
I know what I see isn’t what it seems,
I slowly begin to realize, it only exists in my dreams.

By Daryl Simons Jr.

Another day goes by,
The world feels infinite
As I gaze into her eyes
I don’t know where time goes

While I lose my grasp on reality
My weaknesses appear as she starts to expose
I become scared, and take a step away
She reaches out, tears running down her face

I look back at her, and don’t know what to say
She becomes terrified, creeping fear beside her
All that she had known, all that had died
Everything I was, was just a lure

As we stare, as we lay there
We slip back into infinite, to forget we can’t bare
I look at her, and still don’t know what to say
I just dazed off, knowing that I am drifting away…